i officially hate me a lot.a lot a lot.

theres something amelia said that i realised is really true. sadly, there is only a very fine line between very close opposite sex friend and a boyfriend/girlfriend. its not easy to differentiate, but we have to make sure of our feelings before we do anithing.

i have so much probs n everyone is so irritated by me. cuz i still duno wad isit i wan. screw everyone's life piss everyone off. wads new man? i do that like, everydae?? sooner or later i'll turn the world against myself. that will b the dae everyone will b happy cuz i'll b dead. so sucidal rite? dun worrie i dun hav ani GUTS to kill myself. coward, DAMN i hate myself.

why isit i can feel wad others feel sometimes? decisions decisions decisions. DAMN. i juz LOVE going back to that sucky situation where i have to choose again. y can the road never be straight all the way? why must it hav so twist n turns?

sharks its like 3.55am now la. few daes been thinking bout the decision i've made. cuz i think i regret even making a decision. i should have stood strong on my decision of staying single. now i've juz caused more problems for myself, more pain to others, n more hatred. freak i hate myself man!! i juz totally do. selfish piece of crap. cant slp, juz dun feel like slping. if only theres a punching bag in my room, i really will punch it till it burst lor. juz feel like screaming. shouting. i dun eva wan to make another decision eva again espcially if its on LOVE.

i noe dragging it is worse, i noe leaving ppl waiting is evil, but thats who i am. a shittily evil person. SHOOT ME SOMEONE PLZ. im hungry now. 4.08am. y do i hav the 'POWER' to see through ppl's feelings n stuffs?!?! I DUN WAN!! make me feel so sad. cuz i will noe the reason the person is sad n stuffs. I SUCK. i suck. i suck. i suck. i suck. i suck. i hate me. ya! u hate me too. dun deny. DUN DENY. wadeva

music is amazing. it makes me forget wad im thinking of for a while. juz blast it! 4.22am. WOW. ok im not going to slp le. i'll juz go straight to school. NICE! cool. panda going sch. power ar! preparing to fail my b&fi test le. confirm fail le. freaks man. hate me. all my fault. been cursing n swearing a lot these daes. A LOT LA. so wadeva, again. SHIT ME LA. idiotic. shall stop thinking so much le. juz take things as it is.

~i turn my music to its max, to drown the voices in my head~