1 is the loneliest number

dear mr.b now that u've decided to breakup wif me..i guess there r things i wanna tell u..i really love u n i wish we could go back to what we had..wad we were..b4 the change..u told me to open up to u..but its not dat i didnt..its juz dat i've said the things i wan to sae many times already..i cant take the change in u..the change so sudden which u TOT i wanted..but no..NO..i've said it many times already..its not wad i wanted..but what i wan now is not important animore..n i believe u've heard of once bitten twice shy..the things i said to u about not wanting u to sms n call me all the time..this change was wad i got..so sudden..so extreme..wad if i told u something else..n another big change comes? everyone has their breaking point..i can only take so much..mayb im juz weak..but at the times when i need u the most..u were not there for me..i was so stressed up during the stupid xams..n all i could think of is u..i always wanted to talk to u..but all ur msgs were so short..remember when i said i wanted to date u out? ur reply was "haha..k" i expected a lot more than that..something like sure! or something sweet u always use to manage to sae..it would make my dae..it really would..each time u called..i jumped up to pick up ur call..but its always so short.."wad u doing? ok later sms me"..if u'd think back..its only about a month since ur change..ask urself..during this time..lets b fair..AFTER u knew it was not wad i wanted..did u support me when i could not cope with this change? yes u knew i was upset..but u got angry when i talked bout this again..u got pissed off..did u give me sufficient time to change? do u think its fair to me? if u wanted an immediate change from me..im sorrie..i canot do it..i cant accept something juz like that..since before my xams..i was wishing we could spend more time 2gether..yes i wanted to go out wif my frens n cousins..doesnt mean i didnt wan to go out wif u..but everytime i asked u out..its almost always "i dun feel like going out"..u promised to go shopping wif me..but then?!?! hav we gone out even once? a decent outing juz the 2 of us? u've always ask me what i wanted..u always ask me to open up..how bout u? dont u hav anithing to sae? now i wan to noe what isit u want..wad kind of person u wan me to b..ok..i typed a lot of things juz now..but i got cut off here..cuz my stupid com restarted itself again..im juz so lost n confused without u..i'll continue to update this blog..with things i wan to sae..if i hav things to sae..u're the only one wif access cuz ur the only one that noes..its juz dat..i canot bear to meet u..n not b able to hold ur hand..hug u or kiss u..sometimes when we did go out the past few mnths..i'll trail bhind u..juz cuz i was waiting for u to turn back n hold my hand..but u didnt..u used to give me hugs out of nowhere..but sometimes when i hug u..i dun feel u hugging back animore..there used to b so much expectations from u..but everytime..i got back so much disappointments..i believe theres still something btwn us..we juz havta work it out..mayb we should go out 2gether sometime..sit down n talk bout what u wan..n what u dont wan..vice versa..i'll b lookin forward to that..
=) cheers mr.b