my screwups and downs

major disfunctioning mood meter.

i actually sat at the piano n played for 2hrs 30mins straight. ok i did do quite a bit of banging. didnt realise it was already 10.30pm. skipped dinner. went to shower, feed my dear princess n went to bed. i think everyone could tell i was in one of the worse mood eva so nobody disturbed me. except my didi cuz he had to go to school the nx dae...

am feeling like shit physically n mentally. cuz i'll b the only person in my whole family who canot get into uni. sux. failure. but then again. wads new?

i wan to learn everything in the world. jack of all trades, master of non. nothing fits more perfectly than dat. dats exactly who i am. forever the average, gd in nothing person.

feel im losing myself. of the 2hrs 30mins i was trying to kill the piano ytd nite, my mind was everywhere else. everyone's success came wif hardwork. but when i work hard i get the same results as when i dont. dat was proved too many times so things r starting to "not matter" to me animore. "y try so hard, it'll end up the same as usual...SHITTY n all..."

honestly, juz name 1 thing im gd at. HAHAHA. how bout i try again nx lifetime. a little young to give up? no i dun think so. foundation is the key n i've got non so ya. wads there to look forward to? i dun even noe wad isit i wan. i cant even tell u wad im seriously interested in now. i cant sae wad i really wan to do in the future. im always "dat looks interesting. ok im going to try dat". n ends up gaining nothing. hahahaha.

this stupid laggy com is testing my patience.

its lunchtime.

the ex-policeman colleague gave me a small pack of greenpeas. apparently he juz came back from 2wks of hols. GDNESS how i wish dat was me. its either i need a serious break or im juz going to b liddat forever. but even so, how will a gd long break help?

i juz need to find myself back. seriously hungry now. result of eating breakfast.

wait. $2. eat wad.

~n the tummy rumbles~