bittersweet symphony

ahh. so exams r over for quite a while, chinese new year is over blah blah blah. so. i guess i'll be wasting some 9wks of my life on attachment. yes of course we should all get some work experience from the field we're studying but u noe, not all posts give u meaning to the job ur doing. finding myself stoning staring at a useless com trying so hard to pass time, is just making me turn green. turn green as in grow mouldy. for 8hrs 30mins. tried looking for things to do from other depts yes we got something but theres no link either. gosh they treat us just like what i noe we will b there to b, FREE LABOUR.

fine shall not complain bout trashy attachments n wadsoeva. its meaningless. totally.

for now my life is full of working working driving slack working slack. drag myself out of bed to go work somemore n eat slp slack eat slp slack driving n the list goes on. i want my hols back. life is so dead without a decent long break.

im going to celebrate my bdae by delcaring holidae on the first day of sch. YEAH. everyone goes home to celebrate my bdae. thats gd rite. excellent.

finally managed to book the driving test. its on 8th of aug. n bout a wk after that, sem xam starts. everything just has to happen at the same time everytime. but well, its $154.40 so i'll just havta go aniwaes. hope i'll pass on the first try.

hmm. hows new year. its ok. the family thing i had when i was young compared to now, is quite a big diff. it used to b the best thing on earth when chinese new year is here, but now it just seems like some normal party thingy we just get 2gether n 'yeah yeah hahaha' thats all. but ok, finally manage to see my cuzzie perform wif her band Black Forest. their gd. my cuzzie was amazing. i knew she could sing but didnt noe she could sing THAT well. gd for her. =)

ok so looking at others make me feel i've nv got anithing right in my life. i hope its just not time yet. everything i do is just average. sux big time. just look at my cuzzie, i've been compared to her since i was young, her grades r better, shes much more talented than me etc. even when my mama stops saying it, i'm starting to compare myself. shes just 1 person. so if i cant beat 1 person, i'll nv beat anione? how bout the rest of the world? i dun wan to beat the whole world i just wan something different to b different somehow, someways. wadeva. it just sux. at least i dun eva lie to myself telling the world how wonderful a person i am. like some ppl who really does dat. n has the 'talent' to sae things n ppl just stupidly believe. thats a 'talent' but gosh it really pisses me off. that kind of 'talent' can b used to cheat gulliable aunties. can go get a job like some salesman or shit. wadeva.

keep thinking of a plan to save so i can buy a car when im 21 or something. i really really wan a car of my own. i'd really love a purple lambo. saw it in Bam's Unholy Union. i think its really pretty. but i calculated. cars r really ex. 1500 per mth for 7yrs can juz get a normal car. all the gas n the maintainence fees? its not easy. n getting 1500 per mth income for the rest of ur life till u retire without promotion or wadsoeva, omg u just hit half a mil IF u can save every cent. meaning u dun eat or own a hse pay bills or wadeva which we all noe is totally impossible. need money! badly. hence the multiple jobs. lets see wad i will turn into nx monday. hmm. either someone whose eyes hav been punched real badly, or simply a zombie. cuz i'll b working from monday to sunday. the only dae i can rest is sat morning, then i'll b going to work at night.

hav i talked bout the shows? hmm. hossan leong's multiple personalities is farnie. his a gd joker on stage. but a super dao guy/gay person off stage unless he sees the audience ppl waiting for him, or mayb his 'fans'. super miss jack and the beansprout. at least they bother to thank us or at least smile at us u see. hossan leong just walks 'cement faced' pass us. HELO without us ur show will not b a success u noe. although our job seems redundant, but imagine the audience strolling all over just to find their seats esp after the show starts, ppl who r late just starts pouring in disturbing ur act. GOSH. how dare u despise us. to think i admired him for his fluency in french n his near perfect english, n his courage to show that he is gay in public. how many ppl dares to do that man? except that couple the colin n whoeva. the local happy gay couple. give them my support but hav no idea how their doing after so long. ok enuff of gays.

nx show is titoudao?? or something. sounds like some ti tou dao, some knife or blade or thing to shave the head. ok so its by toyfactory. i hope its gd. as much as i like jack n the beansprout. i hope to watch something better than that. something dat can make me sing their songs, wan to buy their tracks etc. remember all their jokes n luff bout them. ok so 8days saes its heartbreakingly touching. which means i expect to cry. its rated the play of the year in 2001. cant really see. so should b gd. it'll b on from the 1st march to 31st march. i will b there on the first 4 daes working 5 shifts in total. ok cool. so there r casts from jack n the beansprout like sebastian tan n karen tan. they hav acted in various countries. cool. now im sure its nice.

if only promoting can earn money. HAHAHA.

ok so i think i better get to bed. if not i'll havta drag myself up again! sux. hate it. ARGH.

~'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life. Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to money then you die~