some things r uncontrollable

the words that are left unsaid turns into tears.

cause i know i cant tell u. i really cant. because if things changes it would only b because of my words. such changes, from tons of experiences, NEVER lasts. hence, pointless. as much as i know how difficult it would be, i hope u would see it for yourself.

thats y i always believe, don't do things now that u won't or don't see yourself doing in the next 30, 40yrs. don't do it just to win my heart, don't do it just to please me now, cause 'we' shouldn't care too much about 'now' if 'future' doesn't even exist. do it cause u want to, willingly, n have no problem doing it for the whole of your married life.

on a maybe unrelated note...

damn tired of crying n crying for reasons i don't even know.

this is not happening again! for the 879286928395th time!

now that SHE is back, i hope she takes back all the crap she piled on me these 3weeks. i know i get to earn better with less students but i hate the life that i have to find time to MUG. i don't FIND time to MUG EVER. its ridiculous! i want to be able to think to myself 'OMG.. i'm so damn bored! i got nothing to do!' i want to be able to do that again and not just for ONE day in a long long while. how about 2 days in a week, every week? its fair people get weekends right? so i should get my 2 proper 'die of boredom' days. it'll be even better if i have my babie to 'die of boredom' with me.

in case u haven't noticed.. in this period of fragile, roller coaster emotion.. craze.. thing.. i might need just a little more care n concern from the right people (person). *HINTHINT* if that right person even reads this -.-" i'm leaving a hint to thin air.

~AWW i love u blog!~