hate post

u noe wad? ur friggin lucky..

i feel like a bullseye. all arrows big n small always aiming at me. anitime, n EVERYwhere.

theres so much i wan to do but i cant. cuz ppl DUN LIKE ME TO. ppl A wans me to do this n ppl B wans me to do another thing. dun anione realise im juz listening to someone still? like nobody lets me hav a mind of my own. am i really allowing ppl to push me arnd?

i retreat into my own dream world cuz its where im safest mentally. its probably the reason y i dun get really really mad at ppl. HAHAHA. at least not yet. unless ur dat 1 suay person la.

u try to make everyone happy but its NEVER possible. cuz eventually SOMEONE, will STILL b unhappy even after getting wad he/she wans. so tiring trying to please ppl. but of course how can i treat myself terribly...

i immerse myself in my "zone".

sometimes theres no point caring so much bout anithing. the harder u try, the more u do, the more ppl expect of u. n u tire urself out. sure u can sae their smiles make u feel better...wait wad smiles..?? NO HAV AHH.

heres to everything..WADEVA

~mental case~

Thanks Vivz!

from my sweet fren vivz. lols. juz when im sian of staring at my project. GAWD...SCH..is so bleah. hahaha!

thanks vivz! =)

~riding the rodeo~

oh dear, what can the matter be?

imagine this: telling ur parent(s) theres these type of apple that taste very delicious.
ur parent(s) reply by saying "im very sure an apple is from a tree that grew from a tiny seed..which is how u shld b. u shldnt take up so many things now. u shld concentrate on ur studies. u shldnt always go out wif ur (boy)friend (they refer to my dear as my "fren" like always..). u shld spend more time studying not going out. other things that r not important juz drop them. u can pick them up again after uni..."

of course i wasnt talking bout apples, i was juz talking bout something else. they sae i dun talk to them. wad they dun realise is when i do, they end up nagging at me. which makes me not wan to talk to them. cuz whether or not i talk to them, they will nag at me. so wads the point? its not like they listen to wad i say aniwaes.

they care YES but they dun listen. they like to ASK a lot. they hear, but they dun listen. they can ask me the same thing a few times in the same dae. even when they write down my schedule to keep track of wad im doing everyday, they still ask me wad im doing. like when i sae i hav jamming on wed, they write down clearly i hav jamming on wed. n piano on mon. jazz on tue. they can ask me wad im doing on mon. or tue. or when im going out on mon..they will ask "where u going again??" of course they dun do it in a "i really am juz asking cuz i wan to noe" tone, they ask me in a "always go out nv stay home n study now go out again" kind of tone.

wad if i really do exactly wad they sae? stay hm n study ONLY n quit every they ask me to quit n go out only if i really havta. like going to sch...r they sure THEY will b happy? if they really will b..im speechless.

to them im better off without any frens at all. they keep comparing me wif wad they used to do MANY MANY yrs ago. i wonder if they had any frens. cuz im sure they did. den y r they trying to make me think im better off without frens? i dun get it at all.

y dun they live my life for me instead. i'll juz b their puppet. yes?

~utterly pissed~

in my dreams

too much of Li Sheng Jie's Zui Jing speaks of so much dats happening...

too much.

or mayb its juz me.

emo again. SUCH a rare...feeling

its nv a gd sign waking up crying bout some stupid dream. HAHAHA. NEVER!

yes i do realise dat im over blogging all of a sudden.

~tear drops on my pillow~

spirit of the rock, ghost of the pop, phantom of the opera

Found these quotes written on a post-it many many yrs ago. hahaha! how true it is...

Jealousy is like a poison that slowly spreads thru' the relationship before finally killing it.

Trust your partner; love has to have trust in it.

Love is also about honesty and a relationship where no honesty exists probably isn't worth it.

Clearing my table. finally. cuz i bought a printer. YES I BOUGHT A PRINTER. ITS 100% MINE. MUAHAHAHA. i've learnt that wadeva u wan, its fastest and best if u get it urself. waiting for others ar...u might nv see it lor. i'd probably need to start saving up for a piano then. HAHAHA! oh the number of yrs i've been asking for a new one... BAH..wasted.

~point of no return~

twilight

My urge to jog always comes at the oddest of hrs. Like now. My guess is juz cuz im in one of the most incredibly ginormously gargantuan mood swings. WOOHOO. No of course im not in the positive region of that mood swing. WHY else am i here. HAHAHA

I'll be spending my wonderful wkdaes studying, and my wonderful (non-existent) wkends working! YAY! Oh no wait. Let me correct that. Wkends, working AND studying. YES of course why not right? Negative and negative makes positive.

If There's Seasons...
One of the shows i worked at when i WAS still an usher at drama centre. Its here again, n this time, ON MY BDAE. HAHAHA! Spend my 21st in the theatre..?!?! Err...mayb not.

I'm so sorry my dear. I duno wads wrong wif me. The mood swing is not going away! Hmm.

Need to pack my room. MESSY! EVERYWHERE!

I miss jamming...

OMG. Its the IM FAT N DEPRESSED day. HAHAHAHAHA!

~Cheese Head Brown Pants~