speechless

i hope for once in my life i've done something right...

super bz life. everything they dump on my table they sae is urgent. my speed is snail speed now. so lazy to do anithing at all. haiz. how i wish its already time to go home.

cant wait for my pay to come in!!! bought a nice dress ytd! hahaha. planning on going back to buy more. hahaha. its all so simple, exactly my style.

for once i like a branded bag. but only cuz the design is nice n its big enuff for me. if only there was a cheaper brand wif about the same design, i'll b the 1st in line man. i'll nv pay almost $200bucks for a bag. at least not now. hahaha.

so many things i've not done! i wan to go jogging. shall try dat tml. hahaha.

getting SUPER UNHEALTHY! average of 1 meal per day n im still surviving. not well. i can see the colour fading away from my face. becoming pale i guess. hahaha. mayb its my own imagination. i love food but how come im only eating 1 meal per day?!?! this is nonsense.

had almost 2 full cups of coffee ytd, couldnt slp. hahaha. ok mayb 2 hrs of proper rest but rest of the time im awake la. damn. major panda.

ok i REALLY am hungry. but i cant go for lunch. cuz the DD is still having meeting wif the director. n one of my colleage is buying lunch for them. so i hav no idea wad time they will come out from the rm. havta sit here till the DD comes out. how nice. cuz after the meeting she's leaving. sux.

forgot i hav food. fruit actually. 1 orange. HAHAHA. ok shall eat dat for now. how i wish lao pa sat has delivery, n this building has a sun roof thingy. or some balcony or something. dat'll b great.

WEIRD. brought orange to the office for the past 2mths+. 1st time the orange has seed in it. HAHAHAHAHA.

being extremely random.

die. stomach feels too acidic. citric acid + gastric juices = CHAOS. HAHAHA.

cold cold cold v cold. forgot to shop for new jacket. lols. this giordano jacket FAIL to keep me warm everytime la. kuku thing.

hoping for super slack 2nd half of dae. but canot. go so much sai to do. i was doing a 2 persons job. but dat was when my other colleage was here. now she left so im doing wad 3 persons job? i SO wan to quit la. n who said my pay was high??? im juz earning bout $1 more than some tempt staff BUT im doing 3 times the work. YES $1 is so worth it...-.-"

ok im going to buy some food. the acidity in my stomach is burning a hole. hahaha! i juz really wan to get out of this north pole place n get some warm food or something. shall leave a note for the DD. if she doesnt see it, not my fault. I NEED FOOD TOO.

wad shall i eat?

~some getting use to required~

stud

gooooooosh i feel so sick n dizzy n everything. from overload of chocolate n strawberry n mango tea on empty stomach.

went jazz as usual ytd nite didnt call home to ask my maid not to cook cuz i WAS planning to eat at home. but when i reached home, no food. but i was really really hungry. cuz i dun eat breakfast. which means i only had 1 proper meal ytd. i had kinder bueno, 1 cherry liqueur n half a cup of milk for dinner. hahahaha! n ate like another 4 cherry liqueurs juz now. im so sad! all the chocolate cracked. the brandy is gone! no more burst of flavour, had to chew to taste the brandy. but i did aniwae. cuz i juz looove it. hahaha.

which explains y im in this terrible state. i had 1 and 3/4 slice of bread for lunch. one wif peanut butter the other wif jam n a few slices of apples n oranges. n fruit tea. HAHAHA.

ok fine. nobody cares. hahaha. no my depression phase is not over. in fact my body came up wif a "DAMN U" symptom. which i had like last yr. which made me spend almost 200 bucks doing SUPER uncomfortable things like ultrasound. imagine drinking so much water ur bladder is so full n the doctor use the thingy to press down on ur bladder. ARGH. terrible.

mr postman is calling my office la. that nut case. told him not to waste his time n find someone else cuz I AM attached n guess wad? HE DOESNT LISTEN. yippie...do i sound like im kidding or something? nobody eva listens to me. n in the end when they're hurt, ITS MY FAULT. ya ok. fine since when its not. my own family blames me for so many things dat has got nothing to do wif me. i shld really start to get use to this as well.

thought of a closing line le. hahaha. im soooooooo sleepy. oh its 4pm. usually 4pm passes by quite fast.

ARGH this post is SO BORING. hahaha! my life is so totally uninteresting la. shit man.

mon & thurs!

~blinded by misery~

MILD depression

my parents seem to b SO worried for me. but everything juz seems the same. do i look like im dying or do i seem like im in extreme depression or something? cuz they r so worried bout me IM FEELING SCARED. like mayb something IS really wrong wif me...they say they NOE im not happy. i noe im not happy but i tot im always like that. so i duno wads wrong.

i went to search for ppl feeling the same as me. den i realised its wad they call "mild depression". cuz no matter wad happens u juz feel v sad v easily but not to the point u wan to commit suicide, n not to the point u can/want/need to cry.

i think i juz need to get out more. more fresh air. more exercise. but my parents wan me to b home for dinner more often. not dat i dun. is juz dat sometimes they dun leave any food for me. cuz i do hav lessons till bout 7+ n can only reach home at 8+. n they tot i wun b having dinner for me..its not like i only go for lessons once in a while rite. but fine im used to dat. the point is i do wan to go home for dinner more often.

dont tell me my parents r stalking my blog. is dat y they seem to noe im so upset bout like EVERYTHING? gdness...but i hav no intentions in changing my blog link. i love brandied cherries. hahahahahaha. ok i think im mad.

shall go bathe. will b getting advises from shi fu later. i really hope he can give me advises or give me a direction in life. tell me wads rite n wads wrong wads gd n wads bad. cuz im so lost now. i dun even noe y im so upset at everything.

on a lighter note, i messed up n solved the rubics cube 4 times ytd nite. hahaha! so cool. ok shall go bathe n prepare to meet shi fu.

~stop yelling!~

isit just me?

went swimming at CSC wif my family. quite fun actually. hahaha. finally got to swim! after waiting for sooo long. hahaha. too bad there wasnt any sun. i really need a tan. some vitamin D too. my papa sat on the floating thingy on the lazy river. LOLS. went to the wave pool too!
i think we were "soaking up chlorine" for at least 2 hrs. after dat washed up n went for dinner. decided to eat at this indian restaurant also in the CSC. 1st impression: SMELLS NICE! those curry n spices kind of smell. nice. we ordered chicken briyani, mutton briyani, mutton special, chicken special, fish curry (had an indian name for it but no idea wad it is), suddenly forgot the name of this thingy we ordered. GOLDFISH MEMORY. damn. it tasted like roti prata, juz the much healthier version....ok i think its called chapati. LOLS. its real nice!! v thin n sort of non-oily version of roti prata. i think its made from some wheat flour too. its a little grainy but tastes real gd wif their mutton special. i love the mutton special n briyani n chapati. (which is everythin but the fish curry..didnt really like it too spicy to my liking cuz i dun really take spicy food, n it tastes like canned tuna mixed wif curry. hahaha). its not expensive either! total bill was $51.30, n theres 5 of us. we ordered ginger tea n another kind of tea, which has spices added in, smells nice but i stuck wif my fav ginger tea. tea halia =D. didi drank milo. lols. n they didnt add any sugar! which is gd! cuz we get to add it ourselves. cuz usually the tea served outside is too sweet. looking forward to the nx opportunity to dine there. hahaha.

frankly, im super full. cuz the servings r quite big. the 5 of us shared 3 full bowls of briyani, 2 bowls of curry, 1 chicken dish, 2 chapati n had our own drinks. n im totally filled to the brim.
argh! season 4 of house has ended!!! ARGH. haven had enuff of house yet. they shldnt stop filming till i get sick of it! sadness.

ahh yes yes. went to sky's bdae party ytd! thinking back, i dun think i've eva been to a bdae party for the past 10yrs bsides the ones i had to host, which includes my own bdae party. hahaha. so i can sae its the 1st party i just purely had fun at. dun need to worry bout cooking the food, whether all the guests will hav enuff to eat, wad drinks to buy, setting up the tables n chairs, blah blah blah. had lots of fun wif my darlings of the nite eve n vivz. hahaha. wun forget the kiss my dearest cuzzie renny gave me. hahaha! we played the newspaper game, n musical chairs. yeah. hahaha!

ok im really tired now. sure to b aching all over tml. haven exercised for way too long. but muscle aches r gd! give me a fake sense of achievement. LOLS. but i think all the food i ate, cancelled out any possible positive effect on me. hahaha!
was looking through the whole list of songs i hav n found this! i really like the lyrics, it feels well written to me.

In God's Hands

I looked at your face I saw that all the love had died
I saw that we had forgotten to take the time
I, I saw that you couldn't care less about what you do
Couldn't care less about the lies
You couldn't find the time to cry

We forgot about love
We forgot about faith
We forgot about trust
We forgot about us

Now our love's floating out the window
Our love's floating out the back door
Our love's floating up in the sky in heaven
Where it began back in God's hands

You said that you had said all that you had to say
You said baby it's the end of the day
And we gave a lot but it wasn't enough
We got so tired that we just gave up

We didn't respect it
We went and neglected it
We didn't deserve it
But I never expected this

Our love floated out the window
Our love floated out the back door
Our love floated up in the sky to heaven
It's part of a planIt's back in God's hands
Back in God's hands

It didn't last
It's a thing of the past
Oh we didn't understand
Just what we had
Oh I want it back
Just what we had
Oh I want it back
Oh just what we had

i've reposted this shitty post 5 times. stupid thing wun come out the way its suppose to b. all the spacing r screwed up man. u piss me off man. stupid shit.

~jolly blues~

on our own

didnt felt like there was something wrong. didnt expect it to sound so strange. didnt expect us to b questioned. but wad i knew was i'll nv let it go to waste. our time 2gether we've build our love so strong.

something dat sort of describes wads going on...

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a love like yours is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start

Ohhhh
But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a love like yours is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When your asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because love like yours is impossible to find

Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because love like yours is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

theres juz too many things driving me crazy rite now. i dun even noe where to start wif to clear things up. everyones pressuring me to do diff things. i feel like my head's going to burst open anitime. u noe how it feels when u feel like u need to cry but nothing comes out. like everythings bottled inside. always super emo. i dun remember the last time i was happy for 24hrs straight.

i duno y but i juz am a super unhappy person now. WHY??? damn. is the depression phase back again. damn.

~emo post after emo post when will the emo eva stop~

THE great meal

long wkends r great. had a small gathering/party thingy at my hse 2dae. everyone came for dinner. everything was prepared by my papa, my honey n i! ONLY. hahaha. i think dats damn cool.

started off wif the pizza. started off wif the pre-made pizza base, cuz refuse to ask mama for the recipe. (this shall b explained later). cut the onions (clumsily..cuz it was quite unevenly diced, and there were bits n pieces flying here n there), cooked the pizza sauce, prepared the ingrediants n started to "dress" the pizza. dat job was given to my honey. n after he said he was done, TO MY HORROR, it was like a hurricane went past the ingrediants n left it all on the pizza, it was a mess. LOLS. arranged it in a nicer way n dumped cheese on it. DEN we realise, we forgot the most basic thing. THE PIZZA SAUCE. papa came up wif the idea of overturning all the ingrediants, which we did (luckily there was a plate dat was big enuff), and TADA! we slapped on the pizza sauce, overturned the base, n flipped the ingrediants back. IT WAS SO COOL! hahahaha! everything was back excactly where it was. so fun!!

den papa was marinating the salmon n cooking brown rice. which btw, had quite a bit of "sesame seeds" in it. (a little bit of secret only the 3 of us will noe...HAHAHA. SHHH). papa ask me how i wan my salmon to b, n i said i wan it steamed. den i duno how the idea of baking it came up, but i was saying put it in aluminium foil n put it in the oven. den the idea of bake rice wif salmon, n cheese came up n we tested it wif a v small piece of salmon. WA its nice man. so we did it in a bigger scale. which was really quite gd. i juz tot more cheese would b nice. but we didnt hav enuff cheese. (we tried to defrost the frozen cheese in the last min...ended up melting the chunk of cheese...LOLS) but i think the salmon bake rice still has something missing. mayb some spice or herbs or wadeva will help. shall try it again nx time. OK HONEY?

we cooked soup too! potato garlic mushroom soup. it was super paste-y at first cuz we added mash potato (done by papa) in to make it more thick. so i kept adding water till it felt rite n TADA (again), it became soup! creamy, thick but not paste-y, soupy wif chunks of mushroom cooked to perfection.

den honey was making the fruit salad. he chopped all the fruits. hahaha. so cute la he. the fruits were in chunks of diff sizes. hahaha! some really big chunks of orange n really small slice of apples. HAHAHA. but its so sweet of him to come early specially to help wif the dinner preparation. muamuacks!

n we did the veg salad 2gether. which turned out great too! cuz the generous squeeze of lemon made the salad taste so hmmmm. wow. hahaha. due to my limited vocab i hav no idea wad word can b used to describe the taste. but it was real nice.

honey n i went for a walk to get away for awhile, we went 7-11 to buy some drinks. den went back for dinner. den papa scolded me sae i wasnt suppose to disappear. i was suppose to "introduce" everyone to the food??? "guide" them to eat??? a pizza is a pizza rite...soup is soup, everything is exactly as it seems. haiz. overly kan cheong is NOT GD. anyhow order ppl to do ridiculous things. n the ppl (ME) always happens to b the same person. which always makes me feel so BLAH.

after dinner, had CHOYA! my fav. its no joke when u ask an alcoholic to down the cup of alcohol..cuz dat was wad i did. it was only mayb 1/5th of the cup but ya honey was not happy bout it. hahaha. cuz he only had a few sips. LOLS. sorrie la. it was my fav drink somemore mah. n not to mention im an alcoholic. hahaha!

went for a walk again, to the place we first hugged. the hugs were sooooooooo wonderful. cuz will hav this tingly feeling in my tummy. so warm n nice. i love hugs. sat on the swing for a while n strolled back home.

haiz. after almost 4 yrs. this is still real nice to hav. sweet n simple.

n i didnt mention! ytd went honey's hse, didnt do much actually cuz honey was sleeping n i was watching desperate housewives on my fat chick. n was converting shows at the same time. went to get the graduation robe n the LADY, was being TOO FRIENDLY wif my honey. i was the customer n she kept talking to my honey. -.-". asked him wad he was doing now, graduate from uni le isit. blah blah blah. HMPH.

den we went ps n suntec. walked arnd window shop a bit, honey got some stuffs n we had dinner. ordered hokkien mee n the prawns had its shell on. SO my dear honey shelled all the prawns for me! again! cuz i dun like to shell prawns in public so messy. AINT HE THE SWEETEST. MUAMUACKS! n he didnt even complain, except he said "haiya u ar...". LOLS. hahaha. i thanked my honey ok! =D

ok back to 2dae. i'll try to make this short. not happy cuz mama sae shes taking a "self proclaimed leave" 2dae. cuz 2dae our maid went out. n we went to visit my grandma in the hospital. so my mama was telling my aunties she "took off" for today. n i felt so WADEVA. cuz in the first place, shes not the one cooking everyday..she rarely cooks. except making bread, n pizza dough, n make tea (if dat counts), or boil eggs... she doesnt clean everydae either, cuz dats our maid's job. so im really wondering wad is she taking "off" for??! its crap la. n ususally my papa is always the one cooking wad. wad is she complaining about? so dat was y the shopping was done by my papa, my bros n i, n dinner gathering/party was prepared by only my papa, my honey, n i. cuz mama "took leave" n refused to do ANITHING. while we were all doing our part be it setting up the tables (was done by my bros), or cooking or cleaning, my mama was sitting in the rm using the laptop. (she bought a new laptop. same as mine only dat its pink). so i really dun get wad she meant by taking her self proclaimed leave crap. if she didnt wan to help wif the party thingy she could juz sae so. its not the first time aniwae. always so anti bout parties cuz she tot its alot of preparation, cooking n cleaning n stuffs. but its not like shes always doing everything wad. everyone does their part wad. we all try to do wad we can or at least wad we're told to do. SO WAD R U COMPLAINING ABOUT?! sorrie i REALLY dun get it AT ALL.

bsides dat spoiler, everything else was quite nice 2dae. hahaha. muamuacks honey! love u loads.

~twisted bedtime stories~

my screwups and downs

major disfunctioning mood meter.

i actually sat at the piano n played for 2hrs 30mins straight. ok i did do quite a bit of banging. didnt realise it was already 10.30pm. skipped dinner. went to shower, feed my dear princess n went to bed. i think everyone could tell i was in one of the worse mood eva so nobody disturbed me. except my didi cuz he had to go to school the nx dae...

am feeling like shit physically n mentally. cuz i'll b the only person in my whole family who canot get into uni. sux. failure. but then again. wads new?

i wan to learn everything in the world. jack of all trades, master of non. nothing fits more perfectly than dat. dats exactly who i am. forever the average, gd in nothing person.

feel im losing myself. of the 2hrs 30mins i was trying to kill the piano ytd nite, my mind was everywhere else. everyone's success came wif hardwork. but when i work hard i get the same results as when i dont. dat was proved too many times so things r starting to "not matter" to me animore. "y try so hard, it'll end up the same as usual...SHITTY n all..."

honestly, juz name 1 thing im gd at. HAHAHA. how bout i try again nx lifetime. a little young to give up? no i dun think so. foundation is the key n i've got non so ya. wads there to look forward to? i dun even noe wad isit i wan. i cant even tell u wad im seriously interested in now. i cant sae wad i really wan to do in the future. im always "dat looks interesting. ok im going to try dat". n ends up gaining nothing. hahahaha.

this stupid laggy com is testing my patience.

its lunchtime.

the ex-policeman colleague gave me a small pack of greenpeas. apparently he juz came back from 2wks of hols. GDNESS how i wish dat was me. its either i need a serious break or im juz going to b liddat forever. but even so, how will a gd long break help?

i juz need to find myself back. seriously hungry now. result of eating breakfast.

wait. $2. eat wad.

~n the tummy rumbles~

watch your back

cao kuan $B$.

oh yes i've been asked to stay on for as long as i can. which means i can juz quit anitime i wan. LOLS. not sure if i really shld come back everyday. hmmm. cuz i hav a choice to come only when i can (but of course, i will come only when i wan to). HAHAHA. how bout u give me a pay rise. of mayb 2 or 3 times i'll come everyday.

meeting my cuzzies tml. yeah! we're going brewerks. hahaha. excellent man. n honey's coming along! thanks honey for cancelling ur duty juz to come wif us. muamuacks!

mmm i love m&m peanut butter. satisfies my chocolate craving as well as my peanut butter craving. lols! but if only the m&ms were bigger, so it can b filled wif CHUNKY peanut butter, dat will b even better. hahaha!

still wondering which daes i shld choose to come to work. mayb tue, wed, thurs? HAHAHAHA. den i hav super long wkends. but then again...mayb i shld juz take mondaes off. YEAH! long wkend + no monday blues.

hmm. i wan to eat warm food. but super lazy to go out. hahaha. how sia. sianz. i shall go buy lunch at 1.30. less ppl. easier to walk arnd too. hahaha. but meanwhile theres nothing to do soooo im watching shows now. which means i hav like 2hrs lunch break. HAHAHAHA.

nothing much on my mind now. hmm.

red swollen a little painful hands n super dryy.

~DH for lunch~

im really tired now

u've never really forgiven someone till u get over being jealous. u cant always sae ur over it when ur mentioning it over n over again u noe? its really interesting how many problems points back to being jealous.

i was watching this show on MTV bout some jealousy thingy n it featured this 2 couples. somethings look juz so familiar to me. hahaha. i cant help but to admit i've become a jealous person. cuz i dun used to b one, at least to me.

damn nv tot i had to bring work home. but i hav no choice. my contract's ending this fri! n in my last wk they decided to stuff things to me. things dat i dun even think is suppose to b done by me. VERY stupid things like being the guardian of 300files. whoeva wans to take any of the files havta go pass me. RITE. if only they knew how to put back the files they take out, that wun b necessary. but NOOOO. some ppl juz like to take n dump it somewhere to collect dust, to feed the termites n wadeva dat eats paper, instead of putting it back to where it belongs. then, i'll havta do up slides for presentation myself. rite. sounds so simple rite, cuz dats all i noe im suppose to do. dun even noe wad exactly is suppose to b inside, when the presentation is, for whom the presentation is put up for etc. hahaha! wadeva.

HAHAHA! wads really gd bout the contract ending is i really get to catch up wif my music. means im taking up drumming. LOLS. provided those who said they'll go really keeps to their word. but currently no-one seems to b more keen than me. AGAIN. as usual.

this is y i dun listen to chinese channels on internet radio. cuz theres only 1 channel dats listen-able, n the connection is horrible. not like all the other eng n jazz channels. they dun breakup after every few mins. totally pisses me off. damn as if i need more reasons NOT to listen to chinese songs...

i really need time away from work from home from singapore. im in serious need of going somewhere to shut down. hahaha!

~dream child~

South Park!

look at how much the hair resembles my hair. HAHAHA! my very own southpark character. lols! wanted to add beer to my character's hands but the pic didnt fit. didnt try to move it either. so it is wad it is. hahaha. wanted to add a gun to it, but its not me. neither is cigrattes, cigars, scars n blood. n leaving it plain is so boring..hence the angel wings n halo. hahaha! didnt find suitable "legs" for it. hence it has this exceptionally white legs. HAHAHA.

~blah-ed~

omgf u killed soniku u bastud...

if u wan to keep warm, u cant just stand there n wait for someone to go over to u even though dats wad that person use to do. if u wan to keep warm, GO OVER.

so absolutely like family guy. so farnie. stewie is SO CUTE LA. lols. the epi dat show y his head is this football shape. LOLS man. hahahaha! finished 1st 3 seasons le. haiz. so sad. only left wif 2 more seasons.

absolute boredness. leaving at 4pm 2dae! YEAH. see doc. dun care dat ms lala haven replied me to approve of it. i die also wan to see doc by 2dae.

cant wait for time to past super fast. i wan to go home.

cant really slp these few daes. keep waking up way too early. like 5+. den so diff to go back to slp. even after i finally get back to slp its time to wake up. SUX man. haiz.

i think my sweater is useless. im so damn friggin cold. i can wear this in the hot sun now n feel juz fine la.

very pissed now...isit cuz of the coldness...or isit juz something else...i bet the coldness is wads keeping me so calm. HAHAHA.

~chubbycakes~

what the deuce??

vox teacher went overseas so 2dae had a relief teacher, eddie. felt like a lecture rather than practical. but a lot of wad he said made me think. i shldnt b so biased towards eng songs. shall do wad he saes, listen to chi songs on internet radio. cuz its on 24/7. no dj blabbering things i dun wan to listen to. hahaha!


when we went in he made us intro ourselves a little, n he wanted to play this game "who can hold ur breath longer" or something liddat. we're suppose to let out a tone with our mouths at least 2 fingers wide (rather obscene to me..putting 2 fingers in my mouth infront of 2 guys....so i faced the wall...) we did this our own way the 1st time rnd, n he said i cheated cuz my mouth was too small..n a little soft or something. he didnt state the rules at first. so fine we went again. the teacher bu fu qi cuz i won so he ask us to try again. LOLS. so we did. n i won again. HAHAHA. he said female students rarely beat him in dat. HAHAHA. i think he needs to train his stamina or something cuz its really quite short leh. or mayb its actually inbuilt in women to b more "long winded". HAHAHA!! juz dat some girls not so thick skin like me. hahahaha!


oh man im listening to a chi radio station. teacher actually said access from itunes, but winamp has the internet radio function as well. so either way is the same to me. so weird..argh!! i actually listened to the whole "bu pa bu pa" song. its so friggin irritating. hahaha. its called noise: irregular arrangement of pitch (or something liddat. dats wad the teacher said 2dae). while MUSIC is regular arrangement of pitch. hahahaha! duno if its correct. wadeva. i shall switch station now. enuff of chi songs for a wk le. LOLS. jkjk. juz enff for 2nite.


now on: vocal JAZZ.


although i noe i did super badly in AFP, but planning to continue to study AWP. hahaha! im sure things will b better this time. cuz going to b paying less. since self study n classroom study wun make ani diff since i nv listen to wad the teacher sae, unless his telling his stories. hahaha!


damn it. fishermen's fren (one of my best frens) has sugar free chewing gum! ARGH y cant spore sell dat? aww man. its hot enuff! up to my expectations! but man...where to get it legally la...haiz


OO. tml is me n honey's 3yrs 11mths! HAHAHA. its going to b 4yrs 2gether. the 4yrs mark is where i've seen relationships going wrong. but this is where we're diff from everyone else. HAHAHA. wadeva rite. lols. fine fine. we actually agreed to juz eat hokkien mee tml. YEAH!! lalala.


yeah! planning an outing wif my cuzzies. hahaha! actually not much planning needed cuz renny already suggested brewerks. so dats where we'll b going! juz need everyone else to b free on the same dae for dinner. n dat includes U hor honey. dun u dare think for a sec ur going to get away wif it. hahahahaha! yaya im mad.


i love handbrake! works fast man.


shall go prepare for bed! yeah!

~the things u do leaves me SPEECHLESS~

paper clips, papers n files

building castle again.

had a nice lunch! ate tuna sandwich wif lots of tuna n nothing else. 1 apple n 1 orange. hahaha! had mixed rice ytd n 2 oranges. love munching on fruits. can watch show at the same time. hahaha. shall ask my papa stock up on watermelons =D

sleepy now. although im drinking coffee. its not working yet.

argh hav so many cases on hand! if they all come back at once i'll go mad. which they propably will.

i've always looked forward to singing lessons! my voice teacher said im talented in doing voice exercises. HAHAHAHAHA. ya but when i start singing theres all sorts of prob. like need to open up my throat, need to thin the centre (all his terms, duno if these terms r used by all vox but well...). hahaha! worse still i bite my jaw v often, which means i dun loosen my jaw when i sing, my pronounciation is horrible (only in eng songs, n i only sing eng songs..so now im trying to sing chinese songs..which is =.) gdness. cant wait! how i wish the lesson was not only 1hr. it seems so short.

got a new phone! love it v pretty n SLIM. hahaha! unlike my n70, but i still love my n70 despite it looking so lao pok now cuz the paint is coming off n i lost the metal frame thingy. i got a new no. too. cancelling my old no. soon! if u haven got my new no. come ask me for it k. hahaha! so lazy to announce it to everyone. the thing is even my parents dun noe bout my new phone yet...cuz i signed the line myself. hahaha.

so bored! YEAH! love slacking life.

i hav a colleague who is eeyore siao. hahaha! her table is full of eeyore stuffs. the photo frame, soft toys, mug etc. all eeyore. hahaha!

was given this weird chocolate sweet thingy. its kinda like my fav brandied cherry chocolate thingy from marks n spencer. but its this sugary crunchy thing wif some alocholic liqourice tasting liquid inside wif a thin chocolate coating. its weird, too sweet, but i love chocolate! hahaha. its from london i think...

when im bored i blog bout all sorts of super random thing. hahaha! like im a guai girl 2dae cuz i ate a full breakfast n lunch. n will b home for dinner. =D

some ppl like to do senseless things. from their point of view it looks...i duno wad way it looks like to them but it looks terribly stupid to me. i dun understand it man.

hate it when ppl hav major selfishly stupid attitudes. theres this briefing going on, so i had to send the invites to everyone. this everyone is a mixture of diff ppl from diff companies. so this 1 person wans to attend but canot make it. n the person wans us (ALL) to change to suit his "availability". hello ur not the ONLY person going for the briefing u noe y muz everyone change to suit YOU. that person is also so damn rude la. dun like the way the person speak. irritate me. den i havta keep bugging the manager, n the manager not happy also. hate this kind of ppl. piss me off . not like ur the one paying my salary, duno y i hav no choice but to let u make my life so miserable. HAHAHA.

my honey is so sweet la. hahaha. my mama wans to get the same laptop as me! i knew it. lols! cuz its the kind of pink she likes. my mama as long as its nice she'll buy. HAHAHA. didnt even need much psychoing. juz show her the nice pink carrying case n she wans to buy the laptop le. HAHAHA! den honey help me get sabrina (the salesgirl) to reserve the pink stuffs for my mama cuz the stock runs out easily (cuz its real pretty! i got 1 too even though my laptop is red. the pink is juz so sweet. hahaha!) i got mine for free..even though ppl havta pay $70-$80 bucks for the set. lols!

i found my long lost pen! omg i tot someone took it or i left it somewhere. it was under the keyboard all along. i wonder y..muz b the castle building la. messed up my stuffs. but now i found it! yeah! hahahaha!

wow. all the cases r back. wad a rush! its like multitasking 9 things at once. HAHAHA. usually my brain dun work v well doing 2 things at once. sooo. i better go concentrate now. HAHAHA.

absolutely random. yes?

~somedays i hate everything, everyone n everything~

over-bored

GOSH. my colleague is bside me singing her songs. its so IRRITATING!!! cuz firstly theres no tune, secondly it sounds like sirens. high n low pitched sirens put 2gether. ARGH.

2dae is passing by v slowly. i've started to go out for lunch le. cuz recently, there is no bread supply at home. =( is there something else to eat dat wun taste yucky without heating up, besides salads n sandwiches? i seriously mind eating cold rice or noodles. there r a few exceptions though. but argh! wads there to eat???

ytd honey n i went out for a while after jazz piano. he bought a pair of shoes n we had dinner at billy bombers! i ate Route 66. some mushroom, cheese n chicken burger. i find it too sweet to my liking. cheese is suppose to b salty but i think everything else is so overpowering it tastes sweet to the last bite. but i love the potato salad! too bad didnt hav enuff space in my stomach to finish it all.

2dae is another slacking day. hahaha! v sleepy though. there r 23 "sign here" post-it stickers on my keyboard n screen. LOLS. everyone keeps saying its CUTE. -.-". once i almost used all up, which means i had over 20 cases on hand! dats cuz the DD took a lot of time to look through it all very slowly one by one. now she's away, everything is back to the Director! which is YEAH! great! cuz shes so much faster in returning the stuffs. which always helps me to leave no work undone when i leave for the day. n the managers dun need to come n ask whether or not their cases are done again n again. hahaha! shes also v friendly la. super nice lady.

i seriously wonder IF they ask me to stay on, will i? or shld i juz leave? hmmm. my pay is okok mah. so..hmmm.

june n july is going to b bz months. haiz. jazz xam coming soon! less than 1 yr i finished 3 grades! of course i assume i pass. hahahaha! this is one thing i will nv allow myself to fail. okok technically i did only 1 grade, but theoretically im at the 3rd grade now so ya. hahaha!

its absolutely boring..but i love being paid doing nothing. MUAHAHAHA.

~the world doesnt revolve arnd u~

tsk tsk tsk...

YOU...ur hiding something from me rite...

dun expect ppl to tell u everything..when u dun do the same ya?

~i'll nv forget this...HAHAHA~

1001 things...

ok im suppose to b slping now but i cant cuz theres 1001 things running through my mind now. some very random stuffs dat im thinking bout now:

1. i wan to start smoking
   (this is the last thing i eva tot will come from me..i hate ppl who smoke i hate cigrattes i hate everything bout it but i duno..recently i juz think toooooo much of it.)
2. i need a drink
   (not water. some booze. something very strong.)
3. i wan to hit the gym
   (i've nv had a nice gym experience..so this shows how much i need to do something bout my fat self)
4. i wan to jog
   (again, i hate running i hate jogging. i only like to walk. i dun mind walking for hrs its fine. n im not even talking bout window shopping or shopping in anyway)
5. i need to see the doc to get some medication
   (my jazz teacher sae i shld get it..i think i shld. he also said i need to learn to relax. HAHAHA. i find it hilarious)
6. i think i look like hell
7. i totally love my new laptop
8. i need something to help vent my anger?
9. i wan to learn drumming
10. im learning too many things
11. i hate my job, its unproductive
12. i'll nv get into uni
13. my life is kinda screwed
14. i need a tan
15. i need to diet badly
16. my hair is such a mess, i hav no idea wad to do wif it
17. my life is totally screwed
18. i need money
19. i love music
20. it doesnt take a lot to piss me off these daes

its sounding kinda like a too early onset of midlife crisis. HAHAHA.

theres a damn fly flying arnd at this time of the nite? i feel like mr bean.....lols. the damn thing is blind n is pissing me off.

shit i scratched my arm n now theres a whole patch of tiny red dots forming all over the area. n its not going away.

i think im going mad soon.

~everyday is the worse day ever~

its all about stoning

omg i almost forgot about the paper plates n utensils man. the snacks r there n everything was ready den i remembered the paper plates. omg almost died on the spot. rushed down THANK GOD for 7-11!!! its so near by i got everything ready within 15mins. hahaha! yes including the paper plates! =D. super lucky.

hav nothing to do now cuz duno where the deputy director went. hahaha! even if she comes back after the briefing which is 4.30 or something i wun bother bout the work. im leaving at 5.30 2dae n dats final. im taking back wads mine lor. tootsie me gave them 30mins free of my service every fri. den i realise the contract states i can get off 30mins earlier on fridaes. hahaha! OR i'll even leave at 5.10 cuz i reach here at 8.10am ok!

i think i can build castle on monday le. a lot of things going to come back to me when the DD comes back. den ms lala n ms hmms will b here too which means they will either ask me to do stupid unnecessary things, or do super simple things they r too lazy to do.

ARGH its may! haiz. deaded. took a break in apr stop my piano lessons again. hahaha. May, means i havta go back for lessons again. haiz. sianz.

i cant wait to get home to fat chick! n hoping for a better tml. literally. or at least a nice sunday. 2 daes is like so short la. dammit.

~when is MY great escape?~

see red

suppose to b a happy post cuz i juz got my new laptop ytd. sony vaio the red one. n finally edited all my songs n complied it to 2 folders, albums n individual songs. will post the picture of my pretty red stuffs when i manage to take a pic of it all.

papa fetch me to work 2dae, ARGH. he nag bout how much my family dun hav "family life" all the way from home. its like a total of 45mins? haiz. it sux la. big time. he asked me qns like im the family counsellor..things like wad we havta do to hav family life. do we need a maid? den he complain my mama sae if we dun hav a maid she will end up doing everything. which is partially true. so i said y not juz get a part time maid to clean the hse. den my papa sae it doesnt matter whether its a part time or full time maid. omg. im going to go crazy la. listening to him shouting all the way my brain hurts. den he asked if we were to sit down to talk about this whether or not i will b a willing party. HELLO his like practically shouting at me wad u wan me to sae. its obvious theres only 1 thing to sae wad rite. of course i said yes la. i wanted to sae "provided u dun keep shouting like dat". but didnt sae it. i hate to speak when im pissed. i juz wan everyone to shut up n go away. he talked so much n keep asking me to comment on things i dun even noe wad to sae. like "wad do u think is the role of a daughter, wad is the role of a father, a mother n a brother". WTH. hey im not the one wif the family. if THEY duno, how am i suppose to noe? the only reference i can get is from my own family rite since i lived wif them my whole life...i juz duno how to answer his qns. n keeping quiet is NOT an option cuz he will juz start to speak even louder. makes me wan to sae "y not we juz get a family counsellor".

sux i think his going to hold a "conference" this sat. no more normal sat AGAIN. its true my family dun hav family life. my mama works all the time even as a teacher. my bro sits in his rm all the time. my didi juz dun listen to anibody, dun study n watch too much tv so he gets nagged at so often. n dat leaves me...somewhere in btwn. i stick to my com a lot, dats true. but i nag at my didi too cuz i duno wad kind of brain he has it juz pisses me off. he keep saying he wans a new laptop (FOR WAD. HIS LIKE PRI 6.) n he keep saying my mama sae if he gets at least 230 for his PSLE she will buy him a new com. n my papa sae if he gets at least 250 he will buy him a new com. n my papa also told my didi if he gets 250 I will buy him a new com. ya..like never ever. my only promise to my didi is dat if he gets more than 230 i will buy him an ipod. FRIGGIN HELL. being the youngest n most lazy child gets so much motivation N HE STILL DOES NOTHING. all he does is watch tv, hang arnd me watching me settle my new laptop n keep going on n on about getting a new laptop. i hav no choice but to bark at him n ask him to study..dat is if he eva wans a new laptop. BUT the thing is, even if he dun get 230, i bet on my own life dat he will still get a laptop aniwae.

my old fujitsu laptop, the one dat has been shocked by lightening, my papa's planning bring it to fujitsu to repair. den he said, if he repairs, my didi can use n he can use it too. HELLO. wads the point? they dun like him to keep thinking about playing, but they're going to let him hav a laptop aniwae? wads the point? they juz sae things, n contradict themselves in the end. den my didi will noe not to believe wadeva they sae n juz dun listen to them, cuz in the end he juz gets wad he wans. wadeva la i really dun get it. they think my didi shldnt b punished cuz he will lose confidence. HIS FRIGGING RUDE. n they dun do anithing about it. IM always the only one nagging at my didi about how rude he is. n all my parents sae is "ya". wth man. i dun get it. i really dun. they dun even reflect on wad their doing? if 1 way dun work go the other way. always complain about ppl being not flexible. pot calling the kettle black...

the family matters are killing me man.

almost forgot about setting up for 2dae's briefing. but the weird thing is the speaker is still sitting here.....how come.....dun tell me i set up for nothing? cant b wad. unless i slp through my wkend n 2dae is monday......

rite juz found out the briefing is at 2. LOLS. wadeva. will hav snacks to eat later =D.

i cant wait to go home to watch show on my fei2 niu1 (not fat cow). hahaha! such a yucky name to give to such a pretty thing but haiz. the name juz stuck to it. yes im talking bout my red vaio laptop. hahaha!

ok back to work...

~8 working days left?~